The idea of “work style” encompasses many interpretations and even symbolism, but as a leader, work style is more personal. It reflects your character in how you work, communicate with others, and, as they say, how you “bring yourself to the table.” Authenticity is one way leaders build strong relationships and connections as it organically unfolds to impact people in reaching their vision. In nursing, we put up walls and don’t show vulnerability, so that we do not present ourselves as weak in our leadership. However, being authentic or vulnerable in certain situations may bring impact as it opens us up to humility, creativity, and compassion. As author Criss Jami says, “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.”
As I think about what makes an authentic or genuine person, I can see the true power as I also get to know more of my inner self. I am lucky enough to be on this journey of leadership that includes a whirlwind of unique lived experiences, including being a victim of childhood trauma where there are traces of myself that always think that “I am not good enough.” I have felt that I could not control my emotions in a healthy way, or that I am too connected with the people around me. But during those years of struggle, my journey of finding myself and my purpose organically transformed me to be more grounded in the world around me. Overcoming the "challenges of being who I am" led me to embrace the authenticity of my own story, which led me to being grounded and having humility.
I have always been a person who could feel the world around me. When I see someone crying or in pain, I am the first person to ask if they are okay. If I see homeless people on the streets, I offer to help. I even thought of myself as being seen as "weird" because I tend to talk to strangers, like food vendors in the streets, and ask about their life stories. But, as I listen to stories of people from all walks of life, I can care to see how unique they are. These experiences also allow me to be grateful, knowing that every human has unique experiences, sufferings, dreams, and aspirations. As human beings, we don’t always see the beauty of how our life is blessed and that we are “perfectly imperfect.”
As a nurse leader, a significant turning point in my journey was becoming one of Sigma’s Experienced Academic Nurse Leadership Academy scholars. As I reflect on the process of being immersed in this program, connecting with nurse leaders allowed me to be more of myself without being afraid of how others will perceive me. I told my mentor, Dr. Nancy Sharts-Hopko, that I was surprised with how I was starting to feel free and utilize “selective vulnerability” in certain circumstances until it came to speaking in front of large audiences without feeling nervous and being comfortable with who I am. Being authentic without feeling that I might be perceived as "weird" or "weak." The program also drove me to connect with global nurse leaders in a virtual event, discussing their leadership stories or expert topics.
During the event, this question was asked: “Being a leader with tremendous experience in your career and your life, what would be the legacy that you want to be remembered by your colleagues and students?" I can still remember Dr. Patricia Davidson’s answer—“I want to be remembered as a good mentor and a kind person who has supported others.” In another conversation Dr. Shakira Henderson said, “I know it does not work with others, but kindness does work for me.” I realized that I am not the only one with this kind of philosophy, although most of the behaviors I possess are something that I have seen first-hand from my parents, such as being kind, generous, and caring.
I channel kindness into my work style, too. All of us as human beings have this particular level of rawness that we just want to be heard and understood. Listening to people’s stories is a way for leaders to gain wisdom from others as they deepen their resilience and depth. But in my experience of being who I am at work, it all starts by setting this tone and consciousness as a leader first. You need to show up authentically. In my case, I feel free to bring that energy of openness just by simply smiling or greeting people. I always welcome all workers, from service cleaners to the highest level of authority in the system. This builds an environment where a certain level of trust and connection with the people you work with are not afraid to express their circumstances as human beings.
It also fosters a deep level of belonging and psychological safety. Upon building this environment from top to bottom, it creates a paradigm shift in leadership where command that was once perceived as imposing becomes something that is driven by positive intent, influence, and encouraged hearts. As I reflect on my experiences, my colleagues would not only do what was expected but also ask, “What can I do to help?” If they could not handle such assignments, they were also open to telling you that they will need your guidance and would rather be honest instead of incapable. Seeing first-hand my colleagues helping each other and complimenting each other’s talents at work tasks is amazing.
There are also situations where authenticity is not suitable, such as sharing details of your “entire self” with everyone, connecting on a personal level in all circumstances, imposing personal opinions or comments that may hurt other people’s feelings, or even sacrificing your boundaries. In these cases, a leader operates in a non-inclusive nature that may impact professional working relationships, leading to loss of boundaries, respect, biases in decisions, and lack of integrity.
Being authentic at work also means being "inclusive" whenever you can, especially working in a diverse environment. We should have the mindset that the world is not perfect, everyone has needs, and all of us have commonalities and lived experiences that intersect with one another. As leaders, we must find those elements for a deeper understanding that leads to authentic connections with the world.
I want to leave you with this statement that I admire from an article written by Perkins and Alexander (2021): “When we are free and willing to be present and open to listening to our suffering brothers and sisters and acknowledge our vulnerabilities…when we listen to each other this is indeed holy ground where human dignity, freedom and human flourishing will lead to an enduring peace and the best of conditions to teach and to heal.”
Benjamin Joel Breboneria, DNS, MA, MSN, RN, CNE, NEA-BC, is a member of Sigma's Phi Gamma Chapter (Virtual).