When I think about self-care, I think about Florence, my first nurse mentor; I think about Mike, a flight nurse I once worked with; and I think about Isatu, a 3-year-old I met when she was sick with Ebola. I think about their life stories and how they made me fall in love with the nursing profession; how they made me fall in love with our work as healers; and how they showed me unique forms of self-care.
Their stories inspired me to co-author a couple of books on self-care with Sigma. In writing these two books with my esteemed co-authors, Natalie May and Dorrie Fontaine, I spent a lot of time reflecting on what self-care means to our nursing colleagues, nurse leaders, researchers, and students. This is what we learned:
- Self-care is not selfish.
- Self-care should not be flashy or a thing you brag about on social media.
- Self-care is as beautifully unique and diverse as this beautifully diverse and unique world we live in.
Let’s begin with a lesson from Florence. She was an Associate Degree Nurse (ADN) at a time when so many hospital leaders were using Magnet Commission data to discriminate against nurses who had an educational level lower than a BSN. I’ll tell you, all of my strongest nurse mentors began their career as an ADN—some went on to get BSNs and MSNs, but most did not. The letters behind a name do not mean that a nurse is any smarter, better, or safer. Florence was the smartest nurse I’ve ever met when it comes to how she compassionately cared for patients and how well she started IVs on the smallest of children. She patiently accepted people for who they were and lovingly taught other nurses, who were willing to listen, how to offer compassionate care. Even when she was discriminated against for not having the “right credentials,” she focused on the loving care she knew that she could provide to her patients. Self-care for Florence came from a place of love. The more she loved, the better she felt despite the challenges she faced.
I encountered Mike frequently as he rushed patients in from our helicopters and down the short hallway to our trauma bay. Deeply respected by his peers, Mike was a no-nonsense kind of guy. “Kindness” may have not been Mike’s best attribute, but he had a deep passion for knowledge, science, and the art of saving lives. He advocated fiercely for his patients and also advocated fiercely that I learn to be a good nurse. Whenever he could, he would pull me aside in the trauma bay (after we had stabilized our patients, of course) and quiz me, lecture me, and show me chest x-rays and other lab results, educating me on things that we never learned in nursing school. He made me a better nurse by being an unofficial teacher to me. He made me a better nurse by sharing his passion for learning and teaching with me. Mike’s self-care was a passion for knowledge, and for sharing it.
Isatu was 3 years old when I met her, and she was very sick. I was working with the organization Partners in Health in an Ebola Treatment Center in Sierra Leone during the West Africa Ebola outbreak. This was an incredibly stressful and scary time during my nursing career. What made it even more challenging was that the survival rate for young children was minimal. Our teams saw so much death and suffering every day. I thought about Florence every day because of the skills she taught me in how to treat sick children. Amazingly, and because of so much loving support from our team and her family, Isatu survived Ebola. While she was sick, even at her sickest moments, she found moments to play, laugh, and help us find small joys even in this place of horrible suffering. So, lesson number three comes from the story of Isatu, who reminded us that as long as we are breathing, there can be a chance to play. When one person is playful, that can become contagious. Feelings of laughter and joy can then spread. The spreading of joy can heal.
Three of my key inspirations about self-care come from Florence, who taught me about perseverance and the passion for healing people; Mike who gave me a passion for knowledge and “real-life” education; and Isatu, who showed us all the power of playfulness. There is a fourth aspect for me—learning people’s stories, telling people’s stories, and learning and telling my own story, too. Self-care is mentorship, it’s paying attention to the here and now, it’s storytelling, and it’s staying in touch with your passions. I found so much joy in working with other people to help tell stories of self-care in our two books: Self-Care for New and Student Nurses and Self Care for Nurses: Small Doses for Wellness. I hope you can find joy in the stories around you, too, and use them to deepen your own self-care.
Tim Cunningham, DrPH, MSN, RN, FAAN, is the Co-Chief Well-Being Officer at the Woodruff Health Sciences Center at Emory University. He is a co-author of Self-Care for New and Student Nurses and Self Care for Nurses: Small Doses for Wellness, published by Sigma.