One of the most memorable days of my life was the day I stood before a crowded room full of excited graduate nurses, their loved ones, and my colleagues and leaders as the chosen speaker for the pinning ceremony for the nursing class of 2018 at my alma mater.
Go back with me to that day.
This is a special moment, as the cohort sitting before me is a group I have been honored to teach for the whole academic year during one of the most challenging stages of the baccalaureate nursing program. I taught them in the nursing skills lab, and I was their the medical-surgical nursing clinical instructor. Here I am standing before them, thrilled yet so nervous, thinking to myself, What can I possibly tell them that could launch them into the nursing world? After reflecting on all the work they put in, and remembering all the emotions I felt when I had graduated from my undergraduate nursing program exactly 10 years prior, I know exactly what to say. I begin my speech and the words just flow. I lock eyes with every former student and future colleague, thinking to myself, you are our future nurses, our lifesavers, and I am so proud of you all.
I say, “Remember the moment you wanted to enter nursing, and don’t lose that. Do not forget why you came here, or what motivated you to stay.” I look across the room and remember why I wanted to be a nurse, and what motivates me to stay. I remember a nurse, MaylaCora, who was also my best friend and my older sister. At that moment, I feel like I’m traveling back in time, to the summer of 1997, when my sister, who had just completed nursing school, was diagnosed with systemic lupus erythematosus.
I was in seventh grade at the time, and during that hospitalization, my family and I were frightened with so many questions. I noticed who was there to help MaylaCora and my family through learning about managing this mysterious illness as we transitioned to going home—it was her nurses. As my sister went into remission, she started her career as a nurse while managing her own chronic illness, and she was unfazed. Every day when she would come home from work, I looked forward to her stories of her nursing adventures—the saves, the losses, the love she had for her coworkers who became her second family. I saw the fulfillment my sister experienced through caring for others and the love she provided to her patients, which was evident whenever we encountered and were greeted by her former patients in the community. Combined with the memories of how my sister’s nurses cared for her and my family, I made it my goal to work with other hospitalized adults and their families as a nurse.
When I was accepted into nursing school, MaylaCora was my biggest cheerleader. Whenever I was stressed and anxious, she was there to motivate me. During the first week of my second year in the program, though, my sister fell ill during one of her shifts in the emergency room. We learned that she had developed complications from her lupus, requiring her to make massive changes to her daily life, including leaving nursing.
It seemed as though the more I was learning to function in the role of a nurse, the more I was experiencing it firsthand through my experiences with MaylaCora. A couple of months later, she became more ill, and I wished I could be the source of strength for her that she had always been for me. Sadly, on the night of 9 January 2007, three days after her 32nd birthday, my dear best friend and sister became an angel.
Now I’m back to present day standing at the podium, and the pain and sadness I have felt, which comes in waves to this very day, hits me. I’ve gotten to know these students very well, and I know that they, too, have experienced loss, pain, grief, sadness, and anger. Then, I notice a light shine into that big room, and I remember that the last few years have also brought times of happiness, opportunity, excitement, growth, inspiration, and hope for them and for me.
I tell these graduates to support their fellow nurse family and to continue pushing themselves to reach their potential. In each one of them, I see future nurse leaders.
Towards the end of the speech, I share words of gratitude to the faculty at the university and the loved ones gathered at the ceremony. Then I say, “And for all the family, friends, and loved ones who may not be with the graduates here today, including those who have gone before us, thank you for instilling hope, providing strength, and inspiring these graduates to work towards the fulfillment of their dreams.” I see tears in the eyes of the graduates before me, and I feel a wind hit my face as I started to tear up as well. I know this is my sister, making her presence known. Thank you, dear sister.
She is the one who started it all, and although she is not here to see it through, I am here to carry her legacy. I will never forget this day. It is the day that I felt I had started to fulfill my goal of carrying my sister’s legacy as a nurse and as an educator, since she was one of my first teachers.
I conclude the speech with, “Our former first lady Michelle Obama once said, ‘When you’ve worked hard, and done well, and walked through that doorway of opportunity, you do not slam it shut behind you. You reach back, and you give other folks the same chances that helped you succeed.’ It is now your turn to take your calling and join the nursing community. And when you are given the opportunity to guide and be there for the future generation of nurses, I hope that you, too, will remember the mentoring and guidance you have received and without hesitation say ‘yes.’”
I hope this for you, too.
Marissa H. Rafael, MSN, RN, CMSRN, DNPc, is a registered nurse at a medical center in Oakland, California, a clinical instructor and lecturer at California State University East Bay, and a member of Sigma's Nu Xi at-Large and Nu Upsilon Chapters.