We have been married for 43 years and, together, are battling life-threatening illnesses. Our cases, although several years apart, are eerily similar—neither of us had symptoms, warnings, or health issues of any kind. Our illnesses, discovered by
accident or what we now believe to be divine intervention, contained elements the physicians had not seen before.
Kevin: Due to the extent of my cardiac disease, I faced a near-term, highly probable fatal event up until undergoing emergency open heart surgery. You may have seen the article I wrote about my experience a few years ago for Nursing Centered.
June: Although I have never smoked, run eight miles a day, and have always been healthy, I was diagnosed with a large adenocarcinoma mass in my right lung, necessitating the removal of the majority of that lung. Unfortunately, the recurrence rates and
survivability statistics for lung cancer are not ideal. Although I am a nurse, it’s scary to go into the hospital as a patient—and it’s even scarier to have surgery and face a possible cancer diagnosis. You have to depend on others
to care for you and follow their schedule, not your own. It is tough to lose your independence and not feel like yourself.
But the most significant and memorable part of my care was that my nurses met me where I was, every time—physically, emotionally, and even spiritually. Some simple examples include:
Brandon
Kevin's ICU nurse from a few years ago was now the recovery room supervisor. He reassured me that I was in great hands and that he would be at my bedside when I woke up. I told him I had one request, and that it might sound silly: "Brandon, when you take
the surgical cap off me, will you please pull my bangs down so that when I am wheeled in to see my family, I will look like myself?" He honored my request and ensured my bangs were placed correctly. That seemingly silly request meant so much to me,
and the fact that he did this for me made me feel heard and valued, like family. I don't think of Brandon as a supervisor at the hospital now. I think of him as a good friend and as family.
Shunan
While packing for the hospital, I wanted to feel as much like myself as possible, so I included my favorite hot pink pajamas. Shunan, the nurse assigned to me, spotted these and, with glee and excitement, asked, "Do you want to put them on?" With so many
tubes and wires coming out of my body, I couldn't even entertain the idea of that. Every day, with the same level of excitement, Shunan would ask the same question, and my answer was always the same: "Not today." One day, I finally pushed the call
button and asked them to tell Shunan I was ready to wear the gown. The door flung open, and there was Shunan, in all her excitement, asking, "REALLY?" Once on, Shunan paraded me around the nurse's station, saying, "Look at my patient. Isn't she pretty?"
At that moment, I felt cared for and valued, not as a patient, but as a human being. Shunan gave me the gift of feeling like myself again.
Andrew
One evening, after visiting hours, Andrew, my night nurse, asked if I wanted to walk around the nurses' station. We often joked with each other, but this time, as we walked, tears began flowing uncontrollably from my eyes. The gravity of my cancer diagnosis
and lung removal hit me hard. I realized I may not have much time left with my family, and the thought of missing my grandchildren growing up was overwhelming. I’ve taken care of them since they were 3 months old and can’t bear thinking
about what my death would do to them. Thoughts about leaving them consumed me: I have so much love left to give them and need more time! I poured my heart out to Andrew. He listened intently, and with his hand on my back, he ministered to and comforted
me. Andrew met me where I was at that exact moment in time, emotionally and spiritually.
Editha
When it was time to have my chest tube removed, I was terrified to the point of tears. The unknown was overwhelming—how painful would it be? Editha, a nurse practitioner, sensed my anxiety and fear and soothed me with her gentle, calm, patient,
and comforting demeanor. She assured me she would not do anything until I was ready. True to her word, Editha practiced the breathing technique with me over and over and over until I was ready. She prioritized me and I think she would have waited
all day for me to give her the go-ahead. Editha also did not make me feel "less than" for being so afraid—I felt valued and respected as Editha met me where I was.
Despite these terrible diseases' impact on our lives, we are committed to giving back and paying it forward to healthcare by expressing profound gratitude to the many selfless, tireless, and passionate caregivers who put their lives on hold to care for
people like them. We are passionate about reminding caregivers of their "why" and filling their cups with inspiration about what they do, why they matter, and the profound difference they make in the lives of their patients, families, and each other.
Kevin: Her description reminds me of what I believe to be the most significant word in healthcare: "with." As caregivers, when you are "with" your patients, they feel safe, not alone, valued, relevant, and important. They feel cared for as human beings
rather than patients. From my perspective, it stands for “We Inspire True Healing.” I believe that when care teams meet their patients where they are, by being "with" them, patients can become motivated in their recovery, feel as though
they are family, and ultimately cause the patients to consider giving back and becoming much-needed medicine for their caregivers, especially when they need it most.
We want all nurses to know what they do, why they matter, and the profound difference they can make in the lives of their patients. Nurses: Your knowledge, skill, and teamwork give us confidence. Your encouragement gives us hope. Your efforts make us
feel included, like family, and your attitude and approach give us a life to live. We recognize your greatest gift to humanity, which we have both humbly received throughout our challenging medical journeys, is that you give and give and give and
give and ask for nothing in return. We have concluded that there is a better, more abundant life we can both live based on your example of giving. We hope this article meets you where you are and gives you something to help fill your cup and remind
you of your "why."
June Kirksey, BSN, recently joined Kevin's mission to give back through writing articles and delivering inspirational talks to clinical and non-clinical staff in healthcare organizations.
Kevin Kirksey is an inspirational speaker, published author, and former cardiac ICU patient who has lived and documented his story of profound transformation to living Life 2.0 in his book Life 2.0 – A Journey From Near Death to New Life.